Being the Best that You Can be!

If you want to be the best you can be you need to regularly set yourself some challenging goals or targets and get feedback. This is what most world class athletes do and strangely enough it's what most organisations performance reviews are based on. Yet, for most people, the mere mention of this event makes their heart sink.

Why is this? We all want feedback. I haven’t come across anyone who doesn’t want feedback so how have we got ourselves into the situation where so many people do not look forward to this process?

Here are some of the common mistakes I’ve seen:

• You only have this conversation once a year at performance review time so you either bring up all the things you want to from the past year (good and bad), or can’t remember key incidents which would be of value to the employee.

• You structure the conversation based on the review forms you have to complete. The conversation is therefore a form filling exercise rather than a meaningful discussion about the individuals overall performance.

• The feedback comments are so generic they don’t have any meaning for the individual, for example ‘you did a great job’, ‘you handled that really well’, ‘that didn’t go too well’, or ‘you acted unprofessionally.’ When you are on the receiving end of this type of feedback you have no idea what you actually did well or not so well...

This is a shame, because giving and receiving feedback is one of the most important activities you can engage in with your team.

When done well it is the springboard to performance greatness.

How often do you actually give meaningful feedback to your team members?

How often do you get feedback?

If you don’t get it do you ask for it?

As a reminder and to hopefully encourage you to be even better at asking for and giving feedback I've listed some 'best practice' tips below. 
Whilst I’m sure you have heard all of this before if you are not giving regular feedback, or asking for feedback yourself then I would encourage you to read on and decide what you are going to start to do differently to enhance your own and your teams performance.

How do I give constructive and effective feedback?

The most important element in providing effective feedback is establishing an atmosphere of mutual trust and regard. When a feeling of trust has been created, it is easier both to give and to accept feedback.

• Make sure that the employee understands that you are working toward a mutual goal – their success.
• Acknowledge the employee's accomplishments and successes along with the areas in which he or she needs to improve.
• Be specific. It is much more useful to describe the specific element of work that concerns you or that you are particularly impressed by. Remember to stick to what you know first hand: You'll quickly find yourself on shaky ground if you start giving feedback based on other people's views.
• Keep the feedback simple. Decide on the area you want to cover. You don't want to create a shopping list of faults that could overwhelm and discourage the employee.
• Offer to work with your employee to develop solutions to any problems that he or she is encountering. 

How do I ask for feedback?

When I ask people whether they ask for feedback I get one of two responses:

1. I haven’t asked
2. I haven’t been specific on what I want feedback on.

• Be clear about what you want feedback on. If you are practicing your presentation skills what is it that you are working on? Is it your voice tone, your volume, how you stand or sit, the content of the presentation the flow of the presentation, your eye contact, the pace, how you handle questions…This is what I mean by be clear.

• Ask someone who you know will give you the feedback and will focus on the specifics.

• Be prepared to ask further questions for clarity when you are getting the feedback so you can walk away and know exactly what it was you did well, or what specifically you need to do differently.

So these 3 simple things are to help you be more proactive in obtaining relevant feedback for you.

What do I do while I am receiving feedback?

There is an art to receiving feedback as well as giving it and as feedback is rare  you really need to know how to make the most of it:

• Listen while your manager, colleague or stakeholder is giving feedback, and I mean really listen - don't be waiting to speak. Wait until he or she is finished before you respond.

• Make sure you understand the feedback. It's useful to paraphrase the feedback to ensure that you captured the intended meaning. Ask for clarification or for more specifics if it’s not making sense to you.

• Ask for strategies to resolve the issues and work together to develop solutions if you are not sure how to proceed.

• Finally, whether you agree with the feedback or not, thank the person for his or her time and for being helpful to you. 

What if I get feedback that I don't agree with?

We don’t have to take on board all the feedback we get. We always have a choice. So if you don’t agree with what you are hearing:

• Step back. It's useful to consider the feedback calmly and to think about it in the overall context of moving forward in your career.

• Ask a trusted peer for his or her point of view or talk with a mentor.

• If you decide not to use the feedback, let your manager know and tell her or him your reasons. They may want to give you additional feedback. Listen to it and enter into a dialogue about it. If you decide not to use the feedback at this time, keep the feedback in mind, since it may make more sense to you down the road.

If you really believe in people being the best that they can be, or  better still, see that you have more potential, make feedback a habit – both giving and asking for it!

"Be proactive. Proactive people work on the things they can do something about."

Stephen Covey