The one thing most people forget to consider in goal setting and New Year resolutions

Are YOU ready?

The reason we don’t achieve goals is often because they aren’t important enough for us to commit to them, or because we have some pattern of behaviour that prevents us from achieving them.

So, before you ‘fall off the wagon’ with your New Year goals I thought I’d share some of the areas you may want to explore before you fall prey to some of your unconscious patterns.

Your brain is fundamentally lazy and will follow the path of least resistance and our unconscious patterns are so ingrained that they work on autopilot. We (our brain) don’t even have to think about them. However, they are usually triggered by an event or situation. Think about your morning routine you don’t really think too much about what you’re doing because your pattern (routine) is fully embodied and you are pretty much operating on autopilot.

This is just one example and there will be many more throughout your day, so I put together some questions to hopefully prevent you from sabotaging your future achievements.

Spotting potential obstacles – 5 questions to accelerate your success 

1) What is your perceptions of your goal? Do you think this will be easy of hard? Is it going to be fun? On a scale of 1 – 10 how much do you want it where 10 is high and one is low.

If you consider your goal difficult to achieve break it down so it appears more manageable. How can you make it more playful?

2) What excuse are you making about getting started, or staying on track? Some excuses might be:

• I’m not quite ready yet, I need x, y or z in place before I can make a start.
• I haven’t found the time to fit this in/make it happen.
• Someone else hasn’t given you what you need yet.

If you find you are making excuses the chances are it’s not important enough for you, or you’ve hit another obstacle. In which case read on…

3) What sabotage patterns are you running? Here are just a few examples:

• Keeping busy so you don’t have time.
• Agreeing to do things for others without considering the impact to your own commitments.
• Relying on others to make things happen for you.
• Following your ‘old’ routines/patterns…

 What is triggering this behaviour? Pay attention to what, where, when this is triggered. Is it a particular thought you have that is conflicting with where you want to get to (your goal) or how you feel at a particular moment in time, or when you are in a certain place or with a particular group of people.

Once you’ve identified the trigger, what can you do to avoid these situations or think differently about them?

It may take you some time to identify the trigger, particularly if it’s one of your unconscious patterns, and I’d encourage you to stick with it. The more aware you become of what you’re doing automatically the more you are likely to change.

4) What changes do you need to make either in your self, or your environment in order to ensure you achieve your goal in the long term? (See your answers to the questions above).

5) What support do you need to achieve your goal? We all need encouragement and support to keep going, who can you ask for support to ensure you stay accountable? Who may be able to join you? How can you make it more fun?

When we set goals, or intentions, or New Year resolutions we are aiming for a future that we don’t yet have and there will always be an internal battle between your present self and your future self.

Staying ‘on track’ requires self-discipline, a muscle that needs to be exercised regularly. It’s easy to forget what you are aiming for when your present self is here and now, which is why identifying your own self-imposed obstacles can make a difference.

"The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them."

Jim Rohn

The secret to creating new habits

As humans it’s very easy for us all to stick with our normal pattern of behaviour and forget to do something new.

The way we respond to situations is often habitual.

The patterns we all have of reacting to the external world have become ingrained and automatic to us.

It’s only through conscious practice we can change this.  

Through conscious practice we’re aiming to create a new habit. We’re training our mind and body to do something different, so you’re undoing 20/30 or 40 years of an old habits.

How many times have you been on a training course or leadership programme and walked away with lots of new ‘stuff’ to put into practice?

How many times have you actually followed through with this?

In my experience many people go back into the workplace with great intentions only to find these good intentions fall by the wayside.

I have been coaching now for over 15 years and one of the many things I have learned is that you can’t bring about new ways of being with out practice.

It takes time.

Think about how you learned to ride a bike, drive a car, learned to swim or any other activity that requires your co-ordination. It took practice, and I’m sure you made some mistakes along the way AND you still learned. You made adjustments and kept practicing.

Changing anything you do is no different. This may be the way you respond to a situation, a way of thinking, or trying out something new, it takes practice and adjustments.

To build mastery as a leader, you need to be more than just our automatic self.

So now is the time for you to consider what you want to practice on a regular basis in the New Year.

I’ve put together some simple steps to help you develop this. I hope you find them useful.

There are six steps in total, so let me talk you through them: 

1. Focus on one thing: Consider one thing, and only one thing that you want to change.
2. Make it manageable: Break it down into bite size chunks. What will be enough to take you out of your comfort zone and not stress you out?
3. Practice: Determine how often you are going to practice. Do you want to practice several times a day, or once a day? Whatever you decide do it as regularly as you can.
4. Review: After each practice reflect. How is it going? What worked and what still needs practice?
5. Adapt: What do you need to adjust? What will help you get a better result? Do you need to change the frequency of your practice?
6. Celebrate: Acknowledge the progress you have made. If you forget to practice be kind to yourself. Your aiming to do something you haven’t done before so take it one step at a time. Imperfect action is better than no action at all. 

We all work better when we have someone who will support us and hold us accountable to do what we have committed to.

If you know someone who will play this role ask them to check in with you regularly and celebrate with them.

If you know you want to create some change in 2016 and you are ready to move to the next level email me at Dawn @aurora4success.co.uk. I would be more than happy to explore with you how you can become and even better version of yourself.

Let me be the one to hold you accountable for your practices!

In the meantime good luck and have fun becoming the leader you were born to be.

Have lots of success.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." 

Aristotle 

Winning Mindsets

We are in the second week of the Wimbledon tennis championships here in the UK and I was lucky enough to see two fabulous matches were the result required an absolute focus on winning. The game was as much a mental one as it was a physical one.

For those of you who are wondering which matches I’m thinking of, they were Serena Williams vs. Heather Watson match which went to 3 sets and Novak Djokovic vs. Kevin Anderson that went to 5 sets.

As a tennis fan, and observer, both of these matches were hard to call and for all 4 players I’m imagining the mental game was what saw them through.

I then read the following article by Patrick Cohn: http://www.sportspsychologytennis.com/?p=4349

Which looks at the mindset of champion players and talks about the choices you have, an excerpt is as follows:

Threat vs. Challenge

There are two mindsets a tennis player can choose heading into each match:

• You see matches as a threat: “If I lose, what will that loss say about me?”
• You view matches as challenges to overcome: “What can I do now to win this point?”

By viewing matches as challenges:

•   You will be motivated to go for it in tennis matches.

•   You feel psyched to compete, yet relaxed while playing.

•   You will be willing to put it all on the line and go for shots.

•   You will not become distraught by mistakes.

•   You will feel confident in your abilities to overcome obstacles.

•   You will be better equipped to focus on what you need to do in the moment.

•   You will have fun playing the game of tennis.

What mindset do you have?

Leadership is a 24/7 business and you are ‘on court’ all of the time. There are always people watching you. Some willing you on, some ambivalent and maybe some watching to see you ‘trip up’. 

How do you approach each day? As a professional tennis player focussed on this day and what needs to be achieved and how you need to play, or worried about what others may think, not wanting to make a mistake, playing it safe by keeping your head down?

We attract what we think about so if you are not getting the results you want maybe the first place to look is your own thoughts.

• What assumptions are you making?
• Are these assumptions enabling or limiting?
• Do you believe you can achieve what you have set out to do?
• If not what needs to shift, is it the outcome or your thinking?

We are programmed at an early age with some of our inherent beliefs and they are often outside of our consciousness. One way to uncover them is to take time to review your actions and your thoughts, particularly if you are not getting the results you want.

• What do you believe about the situation?
• What would you have to believe to get the result you want? 

I believe you can have everything you want out of life as long as you are prepared to do the work and have a positive mindset.

What can you do to have more of what you want? 

Where might you be limiting yourself with your thinking?

If you are struggling with this and know that you need to make some changes email me to set up a coaching clarity call and we can explore what action you can take.

“If you have the same damn thoughts, you’re gonna have the same damn day.”

Meadow Devor

Five Leadership Benefits of Stopping and Reflecting

As a leader we are all busy and constantly bombarded with emails, meetings, requests, ideas, projects, change of plans, budget constraints…

I often hear my clients talk about how they seem to spend their day going from one meeting to the next with very little time to think. Any thinking that has to be done is either in the moment, or at either end of the day that may be on the way to and from work or at home. I know I’ve been there! 

As a coach a conversation I have with potential clients is how we do not give ourselves the space to think things through to either develop a way forward or solve or problem, or consider how we could do things differently. Having a coach actually allows you to create this space and have someone support you in your own process.

I recognise that not everyone is ready to have a coach so an alternative is to create some space for yourself on a regular basis to do your best thinking – even if it’s just fifteen minutes.

If you are wondering why here are the top 5 benefits you will gain:

Five Leadership Benefits of Reflecting:

Clarity about where you are: Taking some time out either at the end of the day, week or month gives you the opportunity to see the big picture and where you are against your goals. You can’t do this when your head is down in the ‘thick of things’.

Increased likelihood of revised action: If you are off track, taking regular reflective periods will allow you to spot this earlier and potentially save time by taking corrective actions early. Even if you are on track it allows you to spot opportunities that may save time in the future and increase your opportunities for success.

New ideas have the chance to emerge: If you a struggling with a particular situation or feel as though you are ‘stuck’ giving yourself some time to think about it will allow some space for new options and ideas to emerge.

Develop a higher level of thinking and problem solving: Think of this as a way to train your brain. By making a habit of having some reflective time your brain will get used to thinking differently – see my points later on possible questions to ask your self in this space.

You can be more effective: You can be more on the front foot and by reflecting on your own practice you can identify where you could be more effective through either adapting your approach or your style in a given situation.

Possible Reflective Questions to ask Yourself:

• What have been my successes over the last week/month?
• What are my current challenges?
• What will help me move this forward?
• What is my job in this team/company really about?
• What s getting in the way of me making progress?
• What is my most important goal right now?
• What assumptions am I making on this topic?
• What patterns do I see emerging?

These are only suggestions to get you started – feel free to come up with and share your own.

Some tips to get started

1. Find a time that works best for you. Is it daily or weekly? Is it morning, afternoon or evening? Be prepared to play with this until you find when you can commit and do your best thinking.
2. Stop any interruptions, including those you may create for yourself such as grabbing a coffee, doing this one email…
3. Find a place where you can do your best thinking. Get out of the office if necessary.
4. Identify clear actions you will take as a result, bearing in mind this may mean you stop doing something. 

If you are a leader who recognises that having a coach for a period of time will help you be even more effective email me to set up a discovery call so we can discuss your needs further: dawn@aurora4success.co.uk

“Be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you, opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.”

Henry David Thoreau

Being the Best that You Can be!

If you want to be the best you can be you need to regularly set yourself some challenging goals or targets and get feedback. This is what most world class athletes do and strangely enough it's what most organisations performance reviews are based on. Yet, for most people, the mere mention of this event makes their heart sink.

Why is this? We all want feedback. I haven’t come across anyone who doesn’t want feedback so how have we got ourselves into the situation where so many people do not look forward to this process?

Here are some of the common mistakes I’ve seen:

• You only have this conversation once a year at performance review time so you either bring up all the things you want to from the past year (good and bad), or can’t remember key incidents which would be of value to the employee.

• You structure the conversation based on the review forms you have to complete. The conversation is therefore a form filling exercise rather than a meaningful discussion about the individuals overall performance.

• The feedback comments are so generic they don’t have any meaning for the individual, for example ‘you did a great job’, ‘you handled that really well’, ‘that didn’t go too well’, or ‘you acted unprofessionally.’ When you are on the receiving end of this type of feedback you have no idea what you actually did well or not so well...

This is a shame, because giving and receiving feedback is one of the most important activities you can engage in with your team.

When done well it is the springboard to performance greatness.

How often do you actually give meaningful feedback to your team members?

How often do you get feedback?

If you don’t get it do you ask for it?

As a reminder and to hopefully encourage you to be even better at asking for and giving feedback I've listed some 'best practice' tips below. 
Whilst I’m sure you have heard all of this before if you are not giving regular feedback, or asking for feedback yourself then I would encourage you to read on and decide what you are going to start to do differently to enhance your own and your teams performance.

How do I give constructive and effective feedback?

The most important element in providing effective feedback is establishing an atmosphere of mutual trust and regard. When a feeling of trust has been created, it is easier both to give and to accept feedback.

• Make sure that the employee understands that you are working toward a mutual goal – their success.
• Acknowledge the employee's accomplishments and successes along with the areas in which he or she needs to improve.
• Be specific. It is much more useful to describe the specific element of work that concerns you or that you are particularly impressed by. Remember to stick to what you know first hand: You'll quickly find yourself on shaky ground if you start giving feedback based on other people's views.
• Keep the feedback simple. Decide on the area you want to cover. You don't want to create a shopping list of faults that could overwhelm and discourage the employee.
• Offer to work with your employee to develop solutions to any problems that he or she is encountering. 

How do I ask for feedback?

When I ask people whether they ask for feedback I get one of two responses:

1. I haven’t asked
2. I haven’t been specific on what I want feedback on.

• Be clear about what you want feedback on. If you are practicing your presentation skills what is it that you are working on? Is it your voice tone, your volume, how you stand or sit, the content of the presentation the flow of the presentation, your eye contact, the pace, how you handle questions…This is what I mean by be clear.

• Ask someone who you know will give you the feedback and will focus on the specifics.

• Be prepared to ask further questions for clarity when you are getting the feedback so you can walk away and know exactly what it was you did well, or what specifically you need to do differently.

So these 3 simple things are to help you be more proactive in obtaining relevant feedback for you.

What do I do while I am receiving feedback?

There is an art to receiving feedback as well as giving it and as feedback is rare  you really need to know how to make the most of it:

• Listen while your manager, colleague or stakeholder is giving feedback, and I mean really listen - don't be waiting to speak. Wait until he or she is finished before you respond.

• Make sure you understand the feedback. It's useful to paraphrase the feedback to ensure that you captured the intended meaning. Ask for clarification or for more specifics if it’s not making sense to you.

• Ask for strategies to resolve the issues and work together to develop solutions if you are not sure how to proceed.

• Finally, whether you agree with the feedback or not, thank the person for his or her time and for being helpful to you. 

What if I get feedback that I don't agree with?

We don’t have to take on board all the feedback we get. We always have a choice. So if you don’t agree with what you are hearing:

• Step back. It's useful to consider the feedback calmly and to think about it in the overall context of moving forward in your career.

• Ask a trusted peer for his or her point of view or talk with a mentor.

• If you decide not to use the feedback, let your manager know and tell her or him your reasons. They may want to give you additional feedback. Listen to it and enter into a dialogue about it. If you decide not to use the feedback at this time, keep the feedback in mind, since it may make more sense to you down the road.

If you really believe in people being the best that they can be, or  better still, see that you have more potential, make feedback a habit – both giving and asking for it!

"Be proactive. Proactive people work on the things they can do something about."

Stephen Covey

Where is Your Leadership Reinforcing Unhelpful Organisational Habits and Preventing Change?

We all know, or at least I hope we do. That it’s not the organisation that changes but the people who are in them who change. That’s either because the people change their behaviour or they leave and are replaced with new team members who have a better ‘fit’.

Creatures of Habit

We are all creatures of habit, which is why implementing anything new can be a challenge. As human beings we will always revert to our established way of doing things. Unless we make a conscious effort to change and practice something new, new habits are not built.

Our habits are our conditioned autopilot and whilst we may know what these are for ourselves are we consciously aware of what these are with in the organisation.

What habits are there in your organisation that as a leader you perpetuate?

Meetings are often the easiest place to start observing organisational habits:

Do you always have meetings with start with small talk before you get into the agenda?  

Is it OK for people to turn up late?

Is there a formal agenda and do you stick to it?

Do you set a time limit for the meeting?

Other habits may be:

When something goes wrong you look for someone to blame.

All new ideas are listened to and presented to a committee.

Elements of the dress code are not enforced.

The question when introducing something new is to decide which current habits are helpful and which are disruptive.

Signposting Change

What I see most organisations doing if they want a change in behaviour is make a statement that is generic such as, more customer focussed, or celebrate success, or value our people more, or more efficient…

This is great for pointing out the direction of travel, however what people need is more specific tangible instructions on what to do differently.

You may have the best strategy in the world, but if you haven’t considered the behaviour(s) that are required to support it you may not succeed.

Worse still if those behaviours are not present in your organisation, you can be sure the strategy will fail.

Building new Habits

If you are in a position where you are about to lead a change project or are about to implement something new here are 3 steps to take:

1. Identify the 5 most important routines (habits) that will enable the strategy to succeed? Get really specific about what these need to look like.
2. Consider what current organisational habits will support you and identify those that will limit you.
3. Then identify what specifically needs to change so you can clearly direct people on what is required.

I want to stress here this is about keeping things simple. If it’s over complicated you’re going to have trouble communicating with clarity. If there are too many changes for people to focus on behaviourally they’ll either give up or choose one that is less important for you and the change initiative.  

If you are struggling to get your head around this feel free to give me a call.

I can also recommend a great book on change management: Switch, by Chip and Dan Heath. They also have a very good website: www.switchthebook.com/resources

 

“Culture eats strategy for breakfast”

Peter Drucker