The one thing most people forget to consider in goal setting and New Year resolutions

Are YOU ready?

The reason we don’t achieve goals is often because they aren’t important enough for us to commit to them, or because we have some pattern of behaviour that prevents us from achieving them.

So, before you ‘fall off the wagon’ with your New Year goals I thought I’d share some of the areas you may want to explore before you fall prey to some of your unconscious patterns.

Your brain is fundamentally lazy and will follow the path of least resistance and our unconscious patterns are so ingrained that they work on autopilot. We (our brain) don’t even have to think about them. However, they are usually triggered by an event or situation. Think about your morning routine you don’t really think too much about what you’re doing because your pattern (routine) is fully embodied and you are pretty much operating on autopilot.

This is just one example and there will be many more throughout your day, so I put together some questions to hopefully prevent you from sabotaging your future achievements.

Spotting potential obstacles – 5 questions to accelerate your success 

1) What is your perceptions of your goal? Do you think this will be easy of hard? Is it going to be fun? On a scale of 1 – 10 how much do you want it where 10 is high and one is low.

If you consider your goal difficult to achieve break it down so it appears more manageable. How can you make it more playful?

2) What excuse are you making about getting started, or staying on track? Some excuses might be:

• I’m not quite ready yet, I need x, y or z in place before I can make a start.
• I haven’t found the time to fit this in/make it happen.
• Someone else hasn’t given you what you need yet.

If you find you are making excuses the chances are it’s not important enough for you, or you’ve hit another obstacle. In which case read on…

3) What sabotage patterns are you running? Here are just a few examples:

• Keeping busy so you don’t have time.
• Agreeing to do things for others without considering the impact to your own commitments.
• Relying on others to make things happen for you.
• Following your ‘old’ routines/patterns…

 What is triggering this behaviour? Pay attention to what, where, when this is triggered. Is it a particular thought you have that is conflicting with where you want to get to (your goal) or how you feel at a particular moment in time, or when you are in a certain place or with a particular group of people.

Once you’ve identified the trigger, what can you do to avoid these situations or think differently about them?

It may take you some time to identify the trigger, particularly if it’s one of your unconscious patterns, and I’d encourage you to stick with it. The more aware you become of what you’re doing automatically the more you are likely to change.

4) What changes do you need to make either in your self, or your environment in order to ensure you achieve your goal in the long term? (See your answers to the questions above).

5) What support do you need to achieve your goal? We all need encouragement and support to keep going, who can you ask for support to ensure you stay accountable? Who may be able to join you? How can you make it more fun?

When we set goals, or intentions, or New Year resolutions we are aiming for a future that we don’t yet have and there will always be an internal battle between your present self and your future self.

Staying ‘on track’ requires self-discipline, a muscle that needs to be exercised regularly. It’s easy to forget what you are aiming for when your present self is here and now, which is why identifying your own self-imposed obstacles can make a difference.

"The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them."

Jim Rohn

3 signs that you are in a group not a team

Think about the last time you were part of a group, where someone proposed an idea that you thought was quite poor. However, everyone else in the group agreed with the person who suggested the idea and the group seemed set on pursuing that course of action.

When you see this happening it’s a pretty good indicator that groupthink is occurring and preventing creative thinking, effective decision making, efficient problem solving and goals being met.

What is Groupthink?

It is a psychological phenomenon in which people strive for consensus within a group. In many cases, people will set aside their own personal beliefs or adopt the opinion of the rest of the group.

People who are opposed to the decisions or overriding opinion of the group as a whole frequently remain quiet, preferring to keep the peace rather than disrupt the uniformity of the crowd.

Why does groupthink occur?

In many cases, people end up engaging in groupthink when they fear that their objections might disrupt the harmony of the group or suspect that their ideas might cause other members to reject them. Members place emphasis on everyone agreeing and want to be on good terms with the group no matter what the cost.

Situations where the group is placed under extreme stress or where moral dilemmas exist also increase the occurrence of groupthink, as does a strong persuasive charismatic leader.

Symptoms of groupthink

These fall into 3 broad categories:

Over confidence in the groups power
Limited thinking about a problem
Pressure to comply within the group

Over confidence in the groups power

You will see the group become overly optimistic and take big risks believing they are invincible. Alternatively you see members of the group rationalize thoughts or suggestions that challenge what the majority is thinking.  This causes them to ignore warning signs.

Limited thinking about a problem

There is a belief that whatever the group does it will be right as they all know the difference between right and wrong. This leads members to ignore possible moral problems and ignore consequences of individual and group actions.

You may also get members stereotyping. This leads members of the in-group to ignore or even demonize other group members who may oppose or challenge the group’s ideas.

Pressure to comply

The majority directly threaten the person who questions decisions by telling them that they can always leave the group if they don’t want to agree. Direct pressure to conform is often placed on members who pose questions, and those who question the group are often seen as disloyal or traitorous.

Alternatively, members of the group take it upon themselves to discourage different ideas from being expressed in the group. These "Mindguards" act as self-appointed censors to hide problematic information from the group.

This can result in people who have doubts to hiding their fears or misgivings.

How to Prevent or Minimise Groupthink

There are steps that you can take to minimize this problem when you see it occurring or prevent it from happening:

• Breaking up members into smaller independent teams can be helpful.
• As the leader of the group avoid stating your opinions or preferences when assigning tasks. Give people time to come up with their own ideas first.
• Discuss the group’s ideas with an outside member in order to get impartial opinions.
• Encourage group members to remain critical. Don't discourage dissent or challenges to the prevailing opinion. Encourage alternative views and challenging of ideas.
• As the leader be absent from many group meetings to avoid overly influencing decisions.
• Have a process in place for checking the fundamental assumptions behind important decisions, for validating the decision-making process.
• Utilise group techniques like brainstorming and six thinking hats when exploring a problem. 

It would be great to hear your stories on where you have overcome groupthink, so please share them. We can all learn from your success.

"The important thing about groupthink is that it works not so much by censoring dissent as by making dissent seem somehow improbable."

James Surowiecki

Truth or Fiction?

“ We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anais Nin

What does this phrase mean to you?

For me I interpret it as how we see the world is based on our own experiences and beliefs we've developed over our life time. It therefore means that our own view of a situation will not always be the same as someone else's.

When we come up against this it can cause conflict either with others or, within ourselves, and these can often be uncomfortable experiences.

Our perceptions, how we view the world, become our reality and we can make lots of assumptions which are often untrue. 

When working with coaching clients this will often arise as a difference of opinion. If unexplored it can become an obstacle to progress.

If you are faced with this scenario it's worth looking at what you actually know as fact. 

• What has actually happened? 
• What has actually been said? 

Ask yourself; 

• What assumptions are you making? This may be about the other person, the situation or yourself.
• What stories are you making up about the situation?
• Knowing this what if anything do you need to do to move things forward?

Leaving situations to fester can make a mountain out of a mole hill, so make a habit of asking yourself these questions whenever you begin to feel uncomfortable or think a misunderstanding in brewing. 

Where are you creating your own blocks to further success?

Have you ever wondered why it is that you are not making any progress on an issue?

Or

Know that you can achieve more than you are and can’t seem to breakthrough to the next level?

Or

Notice that you always seem to ‘trip up’ just when something important is at stake?

If you have had any of these thoughts did you actually stop to think through the answer or did you just ‘try harder’ or walk away?

What are the stories you tell yourself about your life, your work, your industry?

We all ‘get in our own way’ and often prevent ourselves from being even more brilliant that we actually are. We do this through our own unconscious patterns of behaviour and limited thinking, telling ourselves:

“It can’t be done”

“It’s not possible”

‘If I do that x (usually something shameful or awful) might happen”

“ In this business the only way to make this happen is y (usually the old tried and tested way)”.

“This always happens to me”

All of these are stories. They blinker us and these beliefs we have are always driven by fear and often from a place of thinking you are fundamentally flawed, you’re being disloyal, you’re a burden or you can’t stand out

They stop us from seeing what just might be possible.

As a leader in business you are constantly learning and working to be better at whatever you do as the world constantly changes around you. Yet most of us focus on tasks and management tools and techniques. These all help, however, our stories are created in our head. No amount of busyness or management tools and techniques will change the stories. 

What you have to change is your mindset.

Your mind and the way you think is what opens possibilities that will allow you to work smarter not harder. So you need to start by becoming aware of your thoughts – those voices in your head – the unconscious thoughts. I want to stress here that it is about awareness and not judgement. The voice of judgement is usually one of those voices in our head too.

It is about being a little kinder to your self and simply noticing and being curious and often acknowledging how you think. This alone can bring BIG insights to your patterns of thinking and how you may be sabotaging yourself.

Judgement takes us into collapse, guilt, shame, fear and may lead us to giving up and accepting things as they are. Awareness on the other hand, leads us to compassion, curiosity, understanding and growth.

If, like me, you want to be the best you will discover it’s a life long journey as just as you get to where you set out you discover another path to explore. I compare it to peeling an onion to reveal one layer only to find there is more to it, and the deeper you go the more powerful it/you are.

Getting out of your own way

The good news is you can do something about this. One of the best ways is to work with someone like a coach or good mentor. An external person can often see what we can’t, our blind spots, and a good coach or mentor can help you work through it.

Yes the internet will give you some hints and tips, and it may also feed some of your limiting patterns….. and there are some good books out there too. I have found that working with someone has helped me make the biggest progress in the shortest amount of time. It has also provided me with GREAT support.

So, the question is are you ready to take yourself to your next level of greatness?

If you are, be prepared – you just might turn out to be the super star you’ve always wanted to be!!

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”

Guatama Buddha