Time to Breathe

As we firmly enter into summer and the holiday season most of you will be looking forward to some time off and the opportunity to unwind and relax……… And some of you will have already done it!

More and more in business this is a time to de-stress and I hear many people talk about how long it takes them to unwind which got me wondering…………… Do you know how stressed you are? Are you stressed at all or simply tired? Are you taking responsibility for how you feel?

Stress is often caused by ‘feeling’ out of control and yet there is very little we are actually in control of other than ourselves. So, maybe the place to look is at ourselves to answer the question How can I be more comfortable at handling ambiguity?

Just asking this question of myself lands very differently to how do I stop getting stressed or how can I be more in control?

Taking Stock

It is our brains that create our very own stress response and is based on what we perceive as a threat. When we feel under threat the brain releases cortisol and adrenalin that floods the prefrontal cortex and stops us ‘thinking clearly’. The cortisol goes straight into our nervous system and affects our breathing. When we ‘feel’ stressed this is what is happening and there will almost certainly be other physiological reactions in each of us.

If we are under stress for a prolonged period of time higher levels of cortisol is produced which can cause the immune system to shut down and an increase in blood pressure and your heart rate.

So you can see how prolonged periods of stress can affect our health.

Doing something Different

So, the first step is to decide to take responsibility and choose to do something about it. The second step is deciding where to start. Where would be the best place for you to begin to be more comfortable with ambiguity? I would suggest you start with a situation that creates mild stress. This way you are creating a higher probability of success.

Here are some things to practice:

1. Become aware of your physical response. Where do you tense up? What sensations do you feel in your body? What happens to your breathing?
2. Breathe. Take a deep breath and breathe into your diaphragm – you may even need to take several! This actually affects your parasympathetic nervous system and begins to calm you down.
3. Determine what you can actually do about the situation. Do you need to walk away? Do you delay the conversation? Do you have to approach things differently?
4. What stories do you have about this? Are they true or is your imagination running away with you?
5. What’s the reality of the situation?

We are hardwired to react a certain way, so any change will require a focus on something different, which is why the question you ask is key, such has how can I better cope with ambiguity. You may well come up with a better question for yourself.

The brain likes things to stay the same so tackling one thing at a time and being focussed to create a new neural pathway is important. As a great friend of mine says ‘practice makes permanence’.

Take one step at a time and focus on what you want not what you don’t want.

"I follow four dictates: face it, accept it, deal with it, then let it go." 

Sheng Yen 

The Growth Cycle

How often do you stop and think about the process of personal growth?

If you are like I was when I was in a corporate role probably never! You’re way to busy and just get on with what you have to do. Your development actions become part of your task list and you may do some reflection on the way home.

 If you follow any process you use Kolb’s learning cycle. Whilst this is a great process to get your head around learning it doesn’t quite address some of the deeper things you need to consider as a leader if you want to grow. So, I thought I’d share this process that I have taken from the work I do with archetypes.

There are basically 3 stages:

·       Preparation

·       Learning and Growth

·       Application and Celebration

Preparation

Here you get clarity on what it is you want to learn or how you want to develop. You may set a goal, an intention or outcomes and identify any tools or support you need on the way. This includes your own mental preparation and readiness to start.

Learning and Growth

This is almost a cycle on it’s own with four parts to it:

1. Exploration: To experiment, study, understand, and discover the topic you set out to achieve.
2.  Commitment: Determine what it is you will commit to. What will you do differently?
3. Let Go: Having made the commitment let go of anything that no longer serves you. This may be an old habit, a belief, people or tools and techniques. There may also be more than one thing!
4. Create: Start doing, being and or thinking differently.

You may go around this several times before you move on to the last stage.

Application and Celebration

The final stage is to practice and practice and practice and celebrate your achievements. This may sound easy and it’s the one most people do less consciously or give up if something doesn’t work.

To get good at something we have to continually fine tune and we may also need to adapt for differing situations. So always recognise your progress and celebrate!

“The voyage of discovery is not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

Marcel Proust

Is Good Enough Enough?

As a leader you have probably spent years making things happen with the resources you have.

In response to projects, many organizations figure out the resources they've got and then work hard to do something ‘good enough’. On time, within budget. Meeting spec etc. etc., after all, it is your job.

You end up, if you're lucky, with something that works.

Is that enough? Is that what you are prepared to settle for? Don’t get me wrong I know there are few perfect scenarios, however do you/we ever question what we are faced with and adapt to produce something that is great?

As a leader your growth and potentially recognition and promotion comes down to 2 things:

• What you do with challenges

• What you do with opportunities

Do you see opportunities in challenge?

Do you shy away from opportunities by either ignoring them or offering them to others?

Do you play small rather than play big?

What is your default setting?

What’s the next step for you to be better than good enough?

Feel free to leave a comment with what it is for you.

And……  if you need some support and encouragement on the way from a coach give me a call. I’m more than willing to help you achieve things you never imagined you could.

“Awkward is the barrier between us and excellence.”

Seth Godin

Calling all Leaders in Pursuit of Excellence

Some things are not new. They are as old as the hills.

So, rather than share my own thoughts, on this occasion I thought I’d share one from my collection of quotes from Epictetus.

Epictetus was a Greek philosopher (55 – 135 AD). His view was all external events are determined by fate and therefore, we have no control over them. We should accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately……. sometimes easier said than done!!

However, individuals are responsible for their own action, which they can examine and control through rigorous self-discipline. Here are some questions and thoughts for you to consider from his perspective:

 

“Who exactly do you want to be?

What kind of person do you want to be?

What are your personal ideals?

Whom do you admire?

What are their special traits that you would make your own?

It's time to stop being vague.

If you wish to be an extraordinary person, if you wish to become wise, then you should explicitly identify the kind of person you aspire to become.

If you have a daybook, write down who you're trying to be, so that you can refer to this self-determination.

Precisely describe the demeanor you want to adopt so that you may preserve it when you are by yourself or with other people."

If you do not have a personal development plan in place yet why not use this as s simple way to get started. Identify what you want your first step to be and take it.

Then on a daily or weekly basis review how you are doing. Ask yourself these questions:

1.    What is working for you?

2.    What could you do a little better?

3.    What is your next step/action to continually improve?

Have fun with it and celebrate your progress!

Leaders! Are you Being the Best that you can be? The 3 Building Blocks to Personal Mastery

Some of you will have heard me say this before; leadership is work in progress. By that I mean we are always being confronted with new situations and new challenges to take on. This may be in the form of a team member who requires some additional support and mentoring, a stakeholder who isn’t on board yet or a new project which requires you to learn some new skills or approach things differently. 

There are 2 approaches to all of these situations:

1.    To be reactive and let the situation control and dictate what you do and where you go, or:

2.    To be proactive and take charge, which requires you to first of all take charge of your self. Not until you take charge of yourself can you begin to take charge of others or the task in hand.

One of my fundamental beliefs is that you cannot lead and develop others until you first learn to lead and develop your self. This is so important because the only thing you have control of is you!!

Every human is a free spirit and has choice, so all you can ever do is help those around you make the right choice – for them.

I realise that this may be a revelation for some of you and if you stop and think about it I’m sure you’ll agree.

When it comes to leadership then the first place to start is with YOU!!

If you want to continue to be at the top of your game you have to constantly review where you are and how you are doing.

Being Proactive

This is a discipline based on a number of key principles and practices:

·       Your personal vision,

·       Your personal mission,

·       Playing to your strengths

·       Understanding your limiting beliefs and overcoming them

Another term for this is personal mastery.

Peter Senge says, “Personal mastery goes beyond competence and skills…it means approaching one’s life as a creative work, living life from a creative as opposed to a reactive viewpoint.”

Senge links personal mastery to effective leadership stating, “The core leadership strategy is simple: be a model. Commit yourself to your own personal mastery.”

It is about creating what one wants in life and in work.

Practitioners of personal mastery exhibit the following characteristics;

·  Their vision is more of a calling than a good idea

·  They have a sense of purpose that lies behind their goals

·  They see current reality as an ally, not an enemy

·  They are extremely inquisitive

·  They work with, the forces of change

·   They feel connected to others and to life itself

·  They feel they are part of a larger process that they can influence not control

The Building Blocks

The path to continuous improvement requires self-discipline around three building blocks that I call the 3 C’s:

Competence : Do you have all the skills you need to do your current role? As a leader these tend to be soft skills rather than knowledge based skills. Do you have sufficient knowledge to be able to do your current role or the one you aspire too? How often do you stop and reflect?

Do you know what your next area of growth or stretch is?

Do you engage in regular feedback from those around you?

Confidence : Do you feel confident in all areas of your job and your life? In what situations do you not feel confident? Are you in the driving seat or is someone else? If you are not feeling confident what is holding you back? What limiting beliefs are getting in the way? What assumptions are you making?

Commitment : How motivated and dedicated are you to your role? What de-motivates you? What areas, if any, are you less committed to or tolerating? It is about taking responsibility for the direction that your life is going to take. Are you taking action that moves you forward?

Take some time to explore this. You may surprise yourself and discover how self aware you are or identify your next area of growth.

The path to being the best you can be guides you to being more aware of your beliefs, attitudes and behaviour. It enables you to accept yourself and be responsible for your action, attitude, and thought and the impact you have.

Wherever you are on your journey take time to first celebrate all your achievements, something we often forget to do; and then decide what’s the next stretch for you?

Your decision will not only make you a better leader who inspires others to grow, your improvement will influence others and eventually change the world!

"From this instant on, vow to stop disappointing yourself. Separate yourself from the mob. Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do -- now." 

Epictetus 

Where are you creating your own blocks to further success?

Have you ever wondered why it is that you are not making any progress on an issue?

Or

Know that you can achieve more than you are and can’t seem to breakthrough to the next level?

Or

Notice that you always seem to ‘trip up’ just when something important is at stake?

If you have had any of these thoughts did you actually stop to think through the answer or did you just ‘try harder’ or walk away?

What are the stories you tell yourself about your life, your work, your industry?

We all ‘get in our own way’ and often prevent ourselves from being even more brilliant that we actually are. We do this through our own unconscious patterns of behaviour and limited thinking, telling ourselves:

“It can’t be done”

“It’s not possible”

‘If I do that x (usually something shameful or awful) might happen”

“ In this business the only way to make this happen is y (usually the old tried and tested way)”.

“This always happens to me”

All of these are stories. They blinker us and these beliefs we have are always driven by fear and often from a place of thinking you are fundamentally flawed, you’re being disloyal, you’re a burden or you can’t stand out

They stop us from seeing what just might be possible.

As a leader in business you are constantly learning and working to be better at whatever you do as the world constantly changes around you. Yet most of us focus on tasks and management tools and techniques. These all help, however, our stories are created in our head. No amount of busyness or management tools and techniques will change the stories. 

What you have to change is your mindset.

Your mind and the way you think is what opens possibilities that will allow you to work smarter not harder. So you need to start by becoming aware of your thoughts – those voices in your head – the unconscious thoughts. I want to stress here that it is about awareness and not judgement. The voice of judgement is usually one of those voices in our head too.

It is about being a little kinder to your self and simply noticing and being curious and often acknowledging how you think. This alone can bring BIG insights to your patterns of thinking and how you may be sabotaging yourself.

Judgement takes us into collapse, guilt, shame, fear and may lead us to giving up and accepting things as they are. Awareness on the other hand, leads us to compassion, curiosity, understanding and growth.

If, like me, you want to be the best you will discover it’s a life long journey as just as you get to where you set out you discover another path to explore. I compare it to peeling an onion to reveal one layer only to find there is more to it, and the deeper you go the more powerful it/you are.

Getting out of your own way

The good news is you can do something about this. One of the best ways is to work with someone like a coach or good mentor. An external person can often see what we can’t, our blind spots, and a good coach or mentor can help you work through it.

Yes the internet will give you some hints and tips, and it may also feed some of your limiting patterns….. and there are some good books out there too. I have found that working with someone has helped me make the biggest progress in the shortest amount of time. It has also provided me with GREAT support.

So, the question is are you ready to take yourself to your next level of greatness?

If you are, be prepared – you just might turn out to be the super star you’ve always wanted to be!!

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”

Guatama Buddha

Team Alignment – A 4 Part Health Check

I recently read some research that looked at the winning leadership behaviours that lead to outstanding team performance, particularly when under pressure. One of the top three was alignment, (The other 2 were capability and autonomy).

So, I’ve put together some simple questions to assist you in conducting a quick health check and determining where you may need to put some focus:

How would you describe the alignment of your team?

Are you?

1. Fully functioning, running like a ‘well oiled machine’ where balls are rarely dropped.
2. Managing to get along and just about hit deliverables but it’s all a bit like hard work and you feel as though you have to constantly chase people.
3. You’ve had to re-adjust several timescales and deadlines to accommodate the team. Things just never run smoothly and lots of mistakes are made.

Hopefully you are somewhere between 1) and 2) and if you are 3) what I have to say will still be of value, although it’s probably going to take a little longer to get fully aligned!!

Wherever you are right now these 4 questions will help you determine what needs ‘fixing’. I would recommend you address them in this sequence, as they will also help you prioritise action. The questions are:

1)   Why do we exist?

2)   Where are we heading?

3)   Who does what?

4)   How do we behave?

Why do we exist? The foundation

What is the team there to do? What is their role in the company? Is everyone clear about this?

It sounds obvious, but if you are a team who’s role is to develop new products and there are members of the team who think you are there to develop existing products this can cause some friction albeit subtle.

Ensuring every single member of the team understands what you are there to do can bring great clarity in determining where to focus efforts and what to say no to.

For me it’s the ‘why are we here’? Your teams mission statement and the foundation piece to alignment.

Where are we heading? The guiding system or sat nav

 

Does everyone know in what direction you are heading? It helps if you are all pointing North. How you get there can be varied but if you are all pointing in different directions it’s going to be a longer and potentially exhausting journey.

Your direction may be your strategic goals, your operational objectives, or your company vision – the key is clarity and simplicity. Do your team know what you are going to deliver and the difference it will make? Can you describe it in a couple of sentences? If you find you are rambling, or trying to cover every eventuality you’ll find your team will make their own interpretation, leaving room for missed opportunities, inefficiencies and conflicting priorities.

You may find you have to repeat this several times to make sure it’s fully understood. It will be worth it in the long run!

Who does what? The resources

This is being clear about roles. Who is doing what? Do the roles in your structure allow you to deliver what you are meant to deliver? Where does accountability for delivery sit? How do the roles interrelate? What’s required for the team to run smoothly around the tasks/projects you are delivering?

Is everyone in the right role? Having people fully equipped not only ensures great teamwork it will also increase individual engagement and as a result greater performance.

Are people playing to their strengths? When people play to their strengths there is a sense of ease as well as enjoyment.

How do we behave? The driving path to get you there

What’s the culture you want in your team? How do you want your team meetings to run? How will you make decisions? How do you want it to feel? How will team members communicate with each other? How will problems be resolved?

How often will you review collectively how you are doing? Are you prepared to have a degree of candour so the real conversations take place when they need to and not in the corridor with the people who aren’t involved?

Even the best teams need to stop to reassess.

These questions will allow you as a leader and to quickly review where you are, and be used as a review with the team to identify any areas of realignment.

“Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.”

Michael Jordan