Time to Breathe

As we firmly enter into summer and the holiday season most of you will be looking forward to some time off and the opportunity to unwind and relax……… And some of you will have already done it!

More and more in business this is a time to de-stress and I hear many people talk about how long it takes them to unwind which got me wondering…………… Do you know how stressed you are? Are you stressed at all or simply tired? Are you taking responsibility for how you feel?

Stress is often caused by ‘feeling’ out of control and yet there is very little we are actually in control of other than ourselves. So, maybe the place to look is at ourselves to answer the question How can I be more comfortable at handling ambiguity?

Just asking this question of myself lands very differently to how do I stop getting stressed or how can I be more in control?

Taking Stock

It is our brains that create our very own stress response and is based on what we perceive as a threat. When we feel under threat the brain releases cortisol and adrenalin that floods the prefrontal cortex and stops us ‘thinking clearly’. The cortisol goes straight into our nervous system and affects our breathing. When we ‘feel’ stressed this is what is happening and there will almost certainly be other physiological reactions in each of us.

If we are under stress for a prolonged period of time higher levels of cortisol is produced which can cause the immune system to shut down and an increase in blood pressure and your heart rate.

So you can see how prolonged periods of stress can affect our health.

Doing something Different

So, the first step is to decide to take responsibility and choose to do something about it. The second step is deciding where to start. Where would be the best place for you to begin to be more comfortable with ambiguity? I would suggest you start with a situation that creates mild stress. This way you are creating a higher probability of success.

Here are some things to practice:

1. Become aware of your physical response. Where do you tense up? What sensations do you feel in your body? What happens to your breathing?
2. Breathe. Take a deep breath and breathe into your diaphragm – you may even need to take several! This actually affects your parasympathetic nervous system and begins to calm you down.
3. Determine what you can actually do about the situation. Do you need to walk away? Do you delay the conversation? Do you have to approach things differently?
4. What stories do you have about this? Are they true or is your imagination running away with you?
5. What’s the reality of the situation?

We are hardwired to react a certain way, so any change will require a focus on something different, which is why the question you ask is key, such has how can I better cope with ambiguity. You may well come up with a better question for yourself.

The brain likes things to stay the same so tackling one thing at a time and being focussed to create a new neural pathway is important. As a great friend of mine says ‘practice makes permanence’.

Take one step at a time and focus on what you want not what you don’t want.

"I follow four dictates: face it, accept it, deal with it, then let it go." 

Sheng Yen