Enjoying Weekdays as much as Weekends?

If your answer to the question is no – read on, you may be able to identify what you can begin to do to change that.

Even if your answer is yes there may be some areas of your life you could enhance to be even better…

I very recently revisited Wellbeing – The Five Essential Elements by Tom Rath and Jim Harter and it spurred me to re visit how I live my life holistically against their 5 elements.

If you have the book and haven’t revisited it for a while I’d encourage you to do so, and if you don’t have the book here is a thumbnail sketch of the key themes.

The Five Essential Elements

Founded on comprehensive research they found there are five interconnected elements that shape our lives and wellbeing:

• Career Wellbeing: how you occupy your time, or liking what you do every day.
• Social Wellbeing: Having strong relations and love in your life.
• Financial Wellbeing: Effectively managing your economic life.
• Physical Wellbeing: Having good health and enough energy to get things done on a daily basis.
• Community Wellbeing: The sense of engagement you have with the area where you live.

They describe wellbeing as:

“the combination of our love for what we do each day, the quality of our relationships, the security of our finances, the vibrancy of our physical health, and he pride we take in what we have contributed to our communities…. It’s about how these five elements interconnect.”

From their research they found 66% of people are doing well in at least one area, only 7% were thriving in all five. I’m not sure if I’m one of the 7% however, my results were pretty good. If you’re interested the website address is: www.wbfinder.com. If you are one of the 7% I’d love to hear from you.

We’re our own worst enemy

We tend to get in our own way of succeeding in all five areas through in the moment decisions like, having the extra portion of food when you know you shouldn’t, deciding not to get up and go to the gym today, spending money on something you don’t really need.

The book is full of hints and tips to improve your life in each area such as:

1. Use your strengths everyday
2. Spend 6 hours a day socialising – this includes work, email and phone communication
3. Spend on others instead of on material possessions
4. Sleep enough to feel well rested (7-8 hours)
5. Opt in to a community group or event

What one thing can you start to do regularly that will improve your wellbeing?

Post your comments below.

“Those who can’t change their minds can’t change anything.”

George Bernard Shaw

Mind Full or Mindful? How present are you in your Leadership?

How often are you actually present?

By this I mean in the moment, 100% here, now both physically and mentally. Simply being present, in your body, immersing myself in the here and now, and suspending any habitual ways of thinking,

• More than 50% of the time?
• Less than 50% of the time?

Being in the moment is more than being there in person. It’s about truly bringing your whole self into the room: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. It’s about clearing your mind and not being distracted by your own thoughts and stories and being ‘still’.

In this way you are more open to observe any situation from a position of objectivity. To observe feelings and actions being transmitted and picking up on what may not be being transmitted. For me this is about being really centred and grounded so you can truly connect with the person or people you are working with.

It’s about being engaged in the relationship, connecting and then noticing what comes up.

When you are really present you:

1. Are more flexible giving you the ability to ‘ebb and flow’ in the moment. Because   you are not pre-occupied with your own thoughts you are more able to respond (as opposed to react) to what is happening.
2. Are more able to access your own intuition and “trust your gut." Your mind is clear and therefore you are able pay more attention to what is going on in your body and how you feel.
3. Are more open to not knowing and exploring what might be. 
4. See more options to work with those around you and choose, in the moment, what is most effective. 
5. Can shift perspectives and experiment with new possibilities.
6. Will be more confident in working with strong emotions without being    overpowered by other's emotions. 

 But how do you do it?

You’d be forgiven for thinking it’s an intellectual process. It’s not; it’s a physical process. It’s about bringing the whole of you to the room and to the moment – each and every moment.

This requires you to let go of your conscious thought, to be comfortable with not knowing and trusting the wisdom of your whole body.  It also means letting go of all those models that we may hold onto in our head to find a solution or make a decision.

By paying attention to your whole body you are more likely to tap into your intuition. When you are truly present you are able to attune to EVERYTHING that is going on: emotions, mood, physiology, concerns and yearnings of those around you.

Listening to your intuition and ‘inner knowing’ you can choose the moment to act. This may mean taking a risk and shifting the perspective of your audience.

So how do we get good at it?

Mindfulness practices help as they will help you quieten the mind, for example, meditation, yoga, tai chi, relaxing and paying attention to the breath. For those without one of these mindfulness practices I would suggest practicing getting grounded and centred every day. This is how I started and I promise you it works!

I have found practicing the more I practice the easier it gets.

You can practice in many situations and I encourage people to find moments in the day to be really present e.g. walking down the street, on the train or tube, shopping, in the shower, putting your children to bed. There are endless opportunities when you start to think about them.

If being present is a challenge for you give me a call and we can explore this further to determine what action you can take. I believe everyone can do it. It just takes practice.

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”

Gandhi

Truth or Fiction?

“ We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anais Nin

What does this phrase mean to you?

For me I interpret it as how we see the world is based on our own experiences and beliefs we've developed over our life time. It therefore means that our own view of a situation will not always be the same as someone else's.

When we come up against this it can cause conflict either with others or, within ourselves, and these can often be uncomfortable experiences.

Our perceptions, how we view the world, become our reality and we can make lots of assumptions which are often untrue. 

When working with coaching clients this will often arise as a difference of opinion. If unexplored it can become an obstacle to progress.

If you are faced with this scenario it's worth looking at what you actually know as fact. 

• What has actually happened? 
• What has actually been said? 

Ask yourself; 

• What assumptions are you making? This may be about the other person, the situation or yourself.
• What stories are you making up about the situation?
• Knowing this what if anything do you need to do to move things forward?

Leaving situations to fester can make a mountain out of a mole hill, so make a habit of asking yourself these questions whenever you begin to feel uncomfortable or think a misunderstanding in brewing. 

Sitting with Stress

It's the start of Summer. A time when most people take some well earned time off to slow down and rest. However, in the modern day we'd be lucky to slow down for a season and not feel the internal bubbling of stress and daily demands. We all know the spacious experience of days that flow as we move from one task to another, and yet other times the pressure lands when jobs are stacked breathlessly.

You may have heard the saying that you should ‘sit silently’ for at least an hour a day, unless you are too busy, in which case you should sit for two. Well the irony of stress is that it does not enjoy considering its antidote. But it is much simpler than we could think.

Whether you're sitting at an office desk, commuting or even standing in a queue what I'd like to offer you here is a simple technique to feel more physical space and hence restore and relax. If you allow five minutes it may feel timeless. Over years of facilitating physical embodiment I notice the most simple techniques can shift a person from doing, to being. My invitation is to read and try - closing your eyes after each instruction - and taking time to feel before opening eyes and progressing to the next. So when you're ready let's start.

With a breath, in or out, form a gentle fist. Notice the touch of your fingers against your palm. 

On another breath, open the fist slowly, fully, and pause to notice the space between your fingers. 

We're going to repeat with simple attention, so again with breath, take time to gently close the fist and feel the sensations of the full journey from open hand to closed fist.

When you next open your hand try a breath through your mouth and notice how your jaw hinge releases a little. 

Try this again, a breath through your mouth while the hand opens and notice your jaw.

Now you know what we're doing, continue to offer you attention, closed eyes if you're comfortable and notice how your opening and closing hand fits with the rhythm of your breath for you. See what changes. 

When you feel complete, I encourage you to stand and take a walk around, with attention to breath and an increased sense of space. 

You'll see for yourself that this exercise can apply to any movement that opens or closes body parts, even say, raising your toes up from the ground while sitting. Simple encouragement to breath is what many stressed bodies are crying out for in our society. So if this exercise is relaxing for you I encourage you to try it through your day. And seeing as it takes only five minutes, not an hour, it really is possible to include double on stressed days.

Leela Fisk is a conscious movement practitioner who teaches Soul Motion™ dance practice to adults and children interested in embodiment practice www.leeladance.com

Time to Breathe

As we firmly enter into summer and the holiday season most of you will be looking forward to some time off and the opportunity to unwind and relax……… And some of you will have already done it!

More and more in business this is a time to de-stress and I hear many people talk about how long it takes them to unwind which got me wondering…………… Do you know how stressed you are? Are you stressed at all or simply tired? Are you taking responsibility for how you feel?

Stress is often caused by ‘feeling’ out of control and yet there is very little we are actually in control of other than ourselves. So, maybe the place to look is at ourselves to answer the question How can I be more comfortable at handling ambiguity?

Just asking this question of myself lands very differently to how do I stop getting stressed or how can I be more in control?

Taking Stock

It is our brains that create our very own stress response and is based on what we perceive as a threat. When we feel under threat the brain releases cortisol and adrenalin that floods the prefrontal cortex and stops us ‘thinking clearly’. The cortisol goes straight into our nervous system and affects our breathing. When we ‘feel’ stressed this is what is happening and there will almost certainly be other physiological reactions in each of us.

If we are under stress for a prolonged period of time higher levels of cortisol is produced which can cause the immune system to shut down and an increase in blood pressure and your heart rate.

So you can see how prolonged periods of stress can affect our health.

Doing something Different

So, the first step is to decide to take responsibility and choose to do something about it. The second step is deciding where to start. Where would be the best place for you to begin to be more comfortable with ambiguity? I would suggest you start with a situation that creates mild stress. This way you are creating a higher probability of success.

Here are some things to practice:

1. Become aware of your physical response. Where do you tense up? What sensations do you feel in your body? What happens to your breathing?
2. Breathe. Take a deep breath and breathe into your diaphragm – you may even need to take several! This actually affects your parasympathetic nervous system and begins to calm you down.
3. Determine what you can actually do about the situation. Do you need to walk away? Do you delay the conversation? Do you have to approach things differently?
4. What stories do you have about this? Are they true or is your imagination running away with you?
5. What’s the reality of the situation?

We are hardwired to react a certain way, so any change will require a focus on something different, which is why the question you ask is key, such has how can I better cope with ambiguity. You may well come up with a better question for yourself.

The brain likes things to stay the same so tackling one thing at a time and being focussed to create a new neural pathway is important. As a great friend of mine says ‘practice makes permanence’.

Take one step at a time and focus on what you want not what you don’t want.

"I follow four dictates: face it, accept it, deal with it, then let it go." 

Sheng Yen