Navigating Conflict in the Workplace

Most of us shy away from conflict and back off or avoid the situation if it feels like it might be confrontational. Yet, conflict is inevitable in organisations if you view conflict as a different point of view!

As humans our greatest gift is our ability to think and speak. This means we will form our own opinions and have something to say – yet we get surprised or annoyed or irritated or irked or intimidated or … when someone disagrees with our point of view.

This can often act as a trigger and cause us to re-act rather than stop and consider where the other person is coming from.

Conflict is a Gift

Conflict, or differing points of view, can be the starting point of creating a better solution, better product or better way of working. So, how can we train ourselves to treat it as such?

A starting point might be around our own mindset and instead of instantly re-acting to what has been said maybe we need to re-purpose around the relationship you want to have.

When I’m working with leaders around influence and impact there are 2 questions I often ask:

1. Does your intention match your impact?
2. What outcome do you want from the relationship?

I ask the first question because we often judge ourselves by our intention and we judge others by the impact they have on us. It’s rare that someone will consider their own impact given the individual or audience they have in front of them.

I ask the second question so that you can consider where the relationship is and consider where you may want to take it. Start with at least maintaining the relationship at its current position and at best building the relationship.

Considering both of these questions will inform you on the approach most likely to achieve the outcome and impact you desire.

The Art of Listening

Listening truly is an art as there are many things we can pay attention to in both your audience and more importantly YOU.

You are the only person you are in control of. So pay attention to what is happening to you as well as your audience, tuning into the following areas:

• Words – Listen to the words, tone, timbre and pitch
• Emotion – What do you see and hear that gives some indication of the mood or emotion that is present?
• Physiology – What do you notice about the way they sit, stand, move, and breathe?
• Energy – What are you picking up energetically?

As you are doing this be curious, ask questions, suspend your own judgement, solicit input and check your understanding by summarising what you are hearing.

I know all of this sounds simple, and it is – as long as you practice.

So to summarise;

A – ask questions, listen, and get curious

S – summarise what you hear, solicit information, suspend judgement

K – Keep practicing 

If you have a difficult situation at works that you need some support with please get in touch to set up a call. Email me at Dawn@aurora4success.co.uk.

“Amid this constant surge of information, attention has become our most precious asset.”

Jocelyn Glei

Riding the Waves of Change – 3 Coping Strategies

We all know that change is ever present in our work and daily lives and it may

feel like there is very little restpite between one change piece and another. The more senior you are in an organisation the more frequent the waves occur it’s just the scale that may be different.

The art and skill for us all is how to best manage this ‘ride’ with relative ease.

Sadly, there is no silver bullet. If only……. There is, however, some things we can all do to manage ourselves as we address each day. If you can manage yourself you will be in an even better position to manage what is happening around you.

Here are my top 3 tips:

Breathe

Breathing is something we all take for granted. It happens automatically. However, when we are ‘stressed’ or under pressure it’s one of the first things that will change. It becomes shallower and higher up in our chest.

So, take a deep breath. In fact you may need to take several deep breaths and breath from your diaphragm. This helps you slow down and think a bit more clearly and be more present in the moment.

Observe

Lift your head up. This may sound a little strange, but I see so many people walking around looking at the floor ahead of them, or these days walking a reading their texts! You can’t observe what’s happening around you when you are looking down.

As a leader your role is to set direction and lead people in that direction.

Lifting your head up (literally and metaphorically) allows you to make sure you are heading in the right direction and can also see what is coming your way. Is the sea calm ahead or do you need to prepare for a storm? There may be times when you need to adjust your route and with your head raised you can see which route may be more appropriate.

Observing the landscape will also give you a better handle on how your people are performing:

• Who around you is coping and open to the change? How can you best utilise them?

• Who is the most vulnerable and how are they coping?

• Who is the most emotional and what exactly are they emotional about?Do you have people in the optimum position?

Being a great observer allows you to see what is actually happening and adapt your approach accordingly.

Be Open

When I talk about being open I mean be open on three levels:

1. Have an open mind – be open to others ideas and ways of doing things. Don’t try and predict what will happen next. 
2. Be open about what you think and feel – this may mean you saying that you don’t have an answer, that you’ve made a mistake as well as how motivated, excited or disappointed you might feel. 
3. By open physically – this links to lifting your head, as lifting your head will help you appear more open and approachable. In addition, consider how you are sitting or standing. Are you slouched? If you are, to others you won’t look open to ideas or approachable.  Be grounded and centred and face the direction of travel with confidence. People are more likely to follow you this way. 

Try them out. See how you get on and let me know how they work for you.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

Buddha

Where is Your Leadership Reinforcing Unhelpful Organisational Habits and Preventing Change?

We all know, or at least I hope we do. That it’s not the organisation that changes but the people who are in them who change. That’s either because the people change their behaviour or they leave and are replaced with new team members who have a better ‘fit’.

Creatures of Habit

We are all creatures of habit, which is why implementing anything new can be a challenge. As human beings we will always revert to our established way of doing things. Unless we make a conscious effort to change and practice something new, new habits are not built.

Our habits are our conditioned autopilot and whilst we may know what these are for ourselves are we consciously aware of what these are with in the organisation.

What habits are there in your organisation that as a leader you perpetuate?

Meetings are often the easiest place to start observing organisational habits:

Do you always have meetings with start with small talk before you get into the agenda?  

Is it OK for people to turn up late?

Is there a formal agenda and do you stick to it?

Do you set a time limit for the meeting?

Other habits may be:

When something goes wrong you look for someone to blame.

All new ideas are listened to and presented to a committee.

Elements of the dress code are not enforced.

The question when introducing something new is to decide which current habits are helpful and which are disruptive.

Signposting Change

What I see most organisations doing if they want a change in behaviour is make a statement that is generic such as, more customer focussed, or celebrate success, or value our people more, or more efficient…

This is great for pointing out the direction of travel, however what people need is more specific tangible instructions on what to do differently.

You may have the best strategy in the world, but if you haven’t considered the behaviour(s) that are required to support it you may not succeed.

Worse still if those behaviours are not present in your organisation, you can be sure the strategy will fail.

Building new Habits

If you are in a position where you are about to lead a change project or are about to implement something new here are 3 steps to take:

1. Identify the 5 most important routines (habits) that will enable the strategy to succeed? Get really specific about what these need to look like.
2. Consider what current organisational habits will support you and identify those that will limit you.
3. Then identify what specifically needs to change so you can clearly direct people on what is required.

I want to stress here this is about keeping things simple. If it’s over complicated you’re going to have trouble communicating with clarity. If there are too many changes for people to focus on behaviourally they’ll either give up or choose one that is less important for you and the change initiative.  

If you are struggling to get your head around this feel free to give me a call.

I can also recommend a great book on change management: Switch, by Chip and Dan Heath. They also have a very good website: www.switchthebook.com/resources

 

“Culture eats strategy for breakfast”

Peter Drucker

The One Thing Every Leader Needs to Consider when Leading Change

It’s some years since I actually led a change programme, however I have worked with many leaders in a coach/mentor capacity since then. Often the challenges facing them are around coordinating stakeholders, communicating appropriately, engaging others and grappling with what seems complex.

All of these are critical to success and I still find it staggering to read that a large percentage of change projects still fail, in that they either over run, over spend or fail to deliver the benefits promised.

What is always interesting is that any conversation I have had with leaders starts from the perspective of them looking out at the change initiative – the task and the people involved.

I don’t think I have ever heard any one start with the question of themselves…

• How to I need to be to lead and manage this?
• How do I need to adapt?
• What is my stretch going to be in this? 

Granted, those leading change initiatives are usually chosen because they have the skills and expertise, and I still think this is an important question.

As the leader part of your role is to model exactly what you expect from others and as change programmes can often be highly charged this role model challenge is heightened.

The person with the greatest flexibility will have the greatest influence.

So… my one thing for leaders to consider is how will you adapt.

Adaptability is crucial to survival. You just have to look at Charles Darwin’s research to see it is those animals that adapt to the changes around them that survive.

Learning how to lead is a life long journey not a one off course or leadership programme.

In this spirit of continuous learning, next time you are leading or even supporting a change programme ask yourself how you need to adapt?

What fine-tuning is required in your own behaviour?

“In the long history of humankind (and animal king too) those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.”

Charles Darwin

What is the Predominant Mood of your Team?

Moods are contagious and understanding the predominant mood in your team will be an indication of the level of engagement, commitment and productivity.

What do I mean by mood?

Well, think of it as an emotional state that has some longevity such as; optimism, intensity, dour, calm, resentment, resignation, bold, gratitude….  Think of it as a longer-term attitude.

As you think of the moods I mentioned above I’m sure you can imagine what they feel like when you are with someone in this ‘mood’.

How often have you walked into a room where the mood is uplifting? You actually feel it as you walk in. Compare that to walking into a room where there is a pensive mood. You feel it, and it’s very different to the previous mood of uplifting.

Moods envelope you. You automatically adapt to the environment. They have an impact on how you relate to others and how you move through the world and take action– humans are emotional beings.

• What is your predominant mood?
• How does this affect your team, or meetings you are in?
• What is the predominant mood of your team?
• Is it effective?
• If not what can you do to begin to shift it?
• Do you drive the mood of your team?

There is likely to be a dominant ‘player’, so who is it?

Exercise: At the beginning and end of every day take a moment to notice your mood – write it down and reflect on how it’s affecting your outlook – your thoughts, your actions, your ability to listen. Just raising your awareness will provide you with new choices.

Managing your mood is a key task of leadership and will affect the impact you have.

"Don’t let people; places and things determine your moods. Take charge of how you feel each and every day."

Michael Barbarulo

Four Skills Great Managers Apply to Engage Their Teams Fully

Fifteen years ago I was lucky enough to be invited to hear Marcus Buckingham speak to mark the publication of the book I he co-wrote –‘First Break All The Rules’. I know it was fifteen years ago because I still have the invitation pinned to the inside of the book! This book is one I go back to regularly when considering employee engagement, as it’s full of useful information that any manager can apply on a regular basis.

 

As well as laying out the twelve questions that measure the strength of a workplace (the most important information that measures the core elements needed to attract, focus and keep the most talented employees), it also explains what great managers do to create the right environment.

In summary these are:

Select for talent: Great managers do not select purely on experience, intelligence or determination. They define talent as ‘a recurring pattern of thought, feeling or behaviour that can be productively applied’. Every role performed to excellence requires talent because the role requires a recurring pattern. While experience, intellect and will power are important it is the presence of certain talents that allow people to excel.

Everyone has talents. The trick is finding the right role for them to shine.

 

Define the right outcomes: Great managers set expectations and steer away from defining the steps. This encourages individuals to take responsibility and it also builds self-awareness and self-reliance. They consider what does the task look like when done well?

The outcomes will clearly stipulate any standards that have to be met, particularly if there are legislative requirements to be met.

Focus on strengths:  Great managers motivate by doing this and not focusing on weaknesses. Helping people to become more of who they are. It’s not about ignoring poor performance. If there is a performance issue they start with questions like is it trainable? Is it me? Am I not spotting the right trigger to motivate this person?

Find the right fit: When developing someone they help find the right fit for the person not simply the next rung on the ladder, or what would work for me, or this organisation. The next rung on the ladder may be the right fit – but it isn’t always. It might be with another organisation.

Great managers get people to look in the mirror. They are excellent at performance feedback and consider the individuals’ dreams and aspirations to truly engage them.

“People don’t change that much.

Don’t waste time trying to put in what was left out.

Try to draw out what was left in.

That is hard enough.”

Taken from ‘First Break all the Rules’

Which one of these skills are you naturally brilliant at?

Which one may need some further focus?

How are you doing with your employee engagement?

Great People Deserve Great Leadership – How Great are You?

I was listening to an audio recording recently entitled ‘great leadership creates great workspaces’ with Jim Kouzes, one of the authors of the book The Leadership Challenge. Whilst there was nothing really new in what he was saying it was backed up by global research that focussed on what great leaders do to engage their people.

The one item that did make me sit up was the relationship between values and commitment.

The Relationship between Values and Commitment

From the research Jim Kouzes and his colleague Barry Posner conducted they found that the highest levels of commitment from individuals occurred when they were clear about their own values irrespective of whether they understood the organisations value.

 

So let’s start with you, the leader. Do you know your own values and what you stand for? If you can’t rattle the top 3 off the top of your head I’d argue that you don’t, and I make no apologies for being so blunt about it…

If you don’t know your values there’s no chance that your team will know what you care about, or what is important to you. Values drive our decision-making and in a leadership position will help your team know what is likely to motivate you to say yes or no to a decision that is required.

Great Leaders Connect with their People

I’ve heard it all before I hear you say…. And I agree with you. The question for you to consider is - do you connect with your people?

Leadership is personal. We are all different. We have different needs and different motivations. Do you know exactly what it is that motivates each and every member of your team? Are you able to talk to these when you have your one to one meetings and conversations with them? Do you even have regular one to one meetings??!!

Yes, I know it takes time. That time is an up front investment cost. You’ll easily regain that time over the weeks and months to come through being ‘in-tune’ with that person and the increased level of productivity you’re likely to gain.

Take Time out

If you don’t know your own values in relation to the work you do I suggest you take some time out now and do just that. There are many ways for you to do this and if you are not sure how download my personal branding demystified booklet, as there is an exercise in it that will help you, or alternatively give me a call. There is a quick and easy method I use that can then be used with members of your team.

Hopefully, you’ll then begin to engage and connect with your team on a whole new level.

‘You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.”

Dale Carnegie