I have had several conversations over recent weeks with
colleagues and clients who are either tired, have expressed being close to burn
out last year, or overwhelmed with the volume of work.
On one hand, I completely understand this as there is an
ever increasing need for organisations to achieve more with less, adapt and
change with the environment they are in, whether that’s driven by the
competition, customers, technology, the economy or all four!!
On the other hand, this just feels so wrong. As humans we
only have a certain capacity to cope with these stresses and strains before it
begins to take it’s toll. Whilst there are techniques we can utilise to build
our resilience over time, what can you do in the short term?
Say No
Say no to taking on this extra responsibility
Say no to attending a meeting you have no idea what it’s
about
Say no to accepting under performance
Say no to answering your emails after 7.00 pm (or whatever
time you put to put around this)
It never ceases to surprise me how many people struggle with
this one little word and yet it can be a lifesaver.
As a leader it’s one of the things you have to get
comfortable saying – to yourself and to others.
The Misconceptions
I hear many reasons why saying ‘no’ is not appropriate:
- I don’t want to upset anyone. Saying no isn’t personal. Few people I know take a ‘no’ response personally. If they do it’s usually because of the way the message has been delivered not the message itself. In my experience it brings great clarity on what may be required or not and people actually know where you and they stand. People like boundaries and saying ‘no’ is putting a line in the sand. In fact saying yes and not meaning it is worse as people do tend to pick up on your incongruence. And a maybe is even worse – leaving things somewhat up in the air.
- They may not like me. Leadership is not about being liked. People may not like the decision and if they happen to react badly to what you are telling them it’s because of the content of what you are saying rather than you personally. The key here is to separate the decision from the people. Often explaining the reason for your ‘no’ can clear this up. They may still not like your decision and take some time to come to terms with it but it really isn’t about you.
- My boss might think I’m being obstructive or un-ambitious. As a successful leader you have got to where you are because you can get things done… The more senior you get the trick is to work smarter not harder, which often means saying ‘no’ to people and situations which are ineffective and not aligned to the corporate goals. When you are really clear about your priorities and what is important it becomes much easier to know what to say ‘yes’ to and what to say ‘no’ to. Saying ‘no’ and explaining the reason for your response and maybe suggesting an alternative can actually demonstrate your clarity of thinking around priorities and the impact of particular actions.
- I may miss an opportunity. Opportunities are all around us. The question is which is the one that is the most appropriate right now? You have limited resources. It’s about making the best of those. Saying ‘no’ to some of the opportunities presented often allows more to be achieved with the one(s) you choose.
Successful leaders are really clear about their priorities
and great at re-prioritising when necessary. Saying ‘no’ to things that don’t
fit with your priorities is a great strength.
So, if you are one of those leaders who struggles with this
word, where can you start to practice? How can you say no elegantly and with
clarity?
And if you need help call me. I have some great techniques
that will help you become more comfortable and confident in saying no.
"It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the
things that are really important."
Steve Jobs
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